I feel the need to write about something that has weighed so heavy and pointlessly on my mind. I apologize for this being the first post back since mid pregnancy, but mommy-hood has changed some things and I feel pretty strongly about this.
I was recently called out by someone implying that I was "unproductive" and ungratefully living off my husband. I can't help but consider this an attack on more than just myself, but on so many parents who stay home to raise their kids. Even though we all know, and most importantly I know, this is far from our family's reality, it really sucked. Really, really sucked. I've let it get to me way more than I should but the truth is it hasn't been easy adjusting to it all. When you're lacking sleep, stressed, struggling with hormones, working day and night and full of guilt, it's easy to let petty people creep up on you.
We are very grateful I'm able to stay home with Lennon and still bring in a solid chunk of change to pad our finances. But to say it's been a huge adjustment is an understatement. I'm plenty hard on myself for not working "more", which is absurd because I work around the clock. Then there are the times I feel down for not getting out of the house and away from work, which keeps me in the house and feeling sorry for myself. In our relationship, I'm not used to bringing in the smaller portion of our income. There's been a lot of guilt to go along with this new lifestyle. I have to add, Jeff has been very supportive of it all. In fact, when I told him about this awful attack, his response was "you are way more productive than I am." Ha! (We love you very much and appreciate all your hard work, honey!)
Obviously, this struggle isn't only true for me. When a parent chooses to stay home, or in some cases has no choice but to stay home due to cost of child care, it's a big adjustment. The guilt is real and here's the fact: the job these parents hold is an important one, folks- they're raising the future! They are responsible for bringing up respectable humans. Their guilt and bad moods can easily rub off on these kiddos, and worse yet, those selfish enough to make such awful judgement will rub off on them as well! No thank you!
I think we can all agree that with the hate in the news lately it is important to teach the kids kindness and love for one another. When Jeff and I would talk about what we hoped for our little man as we prepared to meet him, we both agreed we just want to teach him kindness, honesty, love. Be a good person, that's what we care about most. Well, it takes all of us to lay that example. We have to be kind to one another in order to show what kindness looks like.
Be kind, Be nice. Keep your judgement in the trash where it belongs. Remember who's watching you.
